Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
