i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize