I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
is it fun? or sober?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
