Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
