she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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