The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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