and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
