Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
