and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
