she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
