so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
