How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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