you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize