Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
