Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he thought i was a dude.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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