I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize