There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
