who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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