May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
