I CAN MOONWALK!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
