I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Barsexuality is the new black.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
