Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize