turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize