Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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