she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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