I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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