he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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