Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
