Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
