I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
