Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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