Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize