Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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