idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
