If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
