wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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