Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize