too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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