After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
