once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
