I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
