Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
