Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
