so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
