Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
