Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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