Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
