Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
