I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize