If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
