Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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