I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
