glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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