IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize