butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
