1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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