Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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