She is in my trunk
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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